Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Warren Haustrumerda - Tall Tales of Felony and Failure

Our special guest today is Warren Haustrumerda and his novella Tall Tales of Felony and Failure.
Warren is 39 years old and currently lives in Oakdale, Connecticut.

When did you first start writing?
I wrote a little in high school, but didn't actually start my first honest effort, which eventually became Tall Tales of Felony and Failure, until a few years ago.

What was your very first story about?
My favorite topics: treachery, felony, dereliction, and alcohol consumption!

Have you written anything that you were too afraid to let anyone read?
Yup, this story. That's why I'm rocking this awesome pseudonym!

Where is the one place you’ve traveled where you’ve felt most like you fit in?
Fremantle and Perth, Australia.

What activity or hobby, besides writing, do you find most enjoyable?
Homebrewing like a son of a *****!

What was your favorite childhood toy?
GI Joe and Star Wars action figures. Like a boss.

If you lost the ability to see every color but one, which one would it be?
Blue. But how would I be able to differentiate between anything?

How do you treat people you’re not fond of?
With the greatest respect imagineable (when I'm not able to avoid them completely) to mask my planning for their demise.

What is hiding in your closet as we speak?
Foul intentions.

What do you see as your greatest achievement?
My two wonderful children.

What, to you, is absolutely wrong?
Being dishonest with yourself. It's fine, and often required, to be dishonest with others. You shouldn't bull**** yourself, though.

What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure helps smooth over life's rough spots.

If you had to explain the concept “love” to someone who’s never heard of it before, how would you?
Love is an evolutionary trait required to ensure propagation of the species and care of our young. It's needed to override our big, rationale brains.

What about “hate?”
Another evolutionary survival mechanism.

You’ve decided to buy an exotic pet, what do you go for?
Uggh. I'm already waiting for our dog to pass so I can "de-pet" my life. I'm not keen on adding a new, more complicated animal.

What do you classify as an “Adventure?”
Every waking moment, if you're doing it right.

Who is your favorite literary character?
Cranston Staigne!

Who is your favorite character of your own creation?
Cranston Staigne! Redundancy!

If you could learn one new thing instantly, what would it be?
Mad ninja skills, like in the matrix.

Finish this sentence. “I sometimes find it hard to…”
resist just about any temptation.

What kind of education have you received, and how has that affected your writing?
Very limited formal education, which has probably limited my writing. Ignorance is bliss, though.

If you were ever to write an autobiography, what would its title be?
One Big, Dumb, Dirty Bas****

What if it was a biography of your favorite person?
No One's Been Where I've Gone: Hunter S. Thompson Is King Of The Universe

Name three things about that person that influenced or inspired you.
Contempt for authority, ability to ruthlessly identify core motivations behind the events he reported, ridiculous tolerance to recreational pharmaceuticals

Did you experience anything you’ve written yourself?
I've experienced just about everything I've written. I'm not clever enough to make things up.

Who are several of your greatest literary inspirations?
Hunter Thompson, John P. McAfee, Joseph Heller, and now Joe Abercrombie. Also there's Anthony Burgess, Jack Kerouac, William S. Burroughs, Ken Kesey, George Orwell, Kurt Vonnegut, Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck, Aldous Huxley, and H.P. Lovecraft. And a ton of others I'm sure I've forgotten to include. Also, Pink Floyd.

How much research time customarily goes into your projects?
Absolutely none.

Tell us about your featured book.
Tall Tales of Felony and Failure is a hilarious, mind altering, soul deadening ride through the eyes of a mildly insane and somewhat super-powered protagonist, Cranston Staigne. After discovering his ability to control time, Cranston embarks with his cohort Tom on a drunken escapade across three continents. During their travels, the pair commit numerous crimes, evade authorities, and cheat death. It’s magnificent decadence and dereliction as they explore unlimited power and unrepentant failure.

The Tall Tales of Felony and Failure extended ending is also available as a free download at http://malum.org/2011/07/tall-tales-of-felony-and-failure-extended-edition-ending-available-as-free-download/

Why did you write that?
I felt current fiction was too classy, and someone needed to drag it through the gutter for a bit.

Is there anything special you would like your potential readers to know?
That I am a compassionate man who cares about them all, individually and completely.


To be or not to be?
To Be, mother****er.



Special thanks to Warren for being with us today. Give his work a look, because it's not at all fattening.

Monday, January 30, 2012

George L. Cook III - The Dead War Series: Book 1

It is our pleasure to have George L. Cook III, author of The Dead War Series: Book 1, with us today.


George is 43 years old and currently lives in Hillside, New Jersey.

When did you first start writing?
When I was 11 years old.

What was your very first story about?
I starting writing right after my first time seeing Star Wars so it was a Star Wars ripoff. Right down to the bad guy wearing a helmet and all.

Have you written anything that you were too afraid to let anyone read?
Oh of course. I have written many poetry books and as a matter of fact my latest book is my first fiction release. I have been very nervous about entering the science fiction genre so I have many stories and books written that I may never release.

Did you experience anything you’ve written yourself?
There are some experiences in my current book especially with the main characters nickname that come from my personal experiences. The military sequences also fall back on my time in the US Army / NJ National Guard.

In my poetry books I have not written about anything that I have not personally experienced.

Who are several of your greatest literary inspirations?
That's a good question. To be honest until you I don't know if I have any. I love books by many authors and poets. Especially those by independent and self published authors. I just like to write and could not honestly say I have a favorite author.

What kind of education have you received, and how has that affected your writing?
I went to college and then went in the army. Those life experiences have definitely influenced my writing. I think before that my writing came from a very narrow point of view. I think that my time in college and in the army gave me the ability to look at things from many different angles and views which is something I try to do in my stories.

How much research time customarily goes into your projects?
Depending on the topic, a lot. Since my book is science fiction I try to stay within the realm of possibility. You just can't go writing something that may not be possible. I study a lot on military advances in weapons, tactics, and equipment. I also read up a lot on technology advances. I think I owe it to the reader to know what I am writing about.

Tell us about your featured book.
In the year 2053 the dead walked. Mankind was caught off guard at first but within six years mounted a massive military assault on the dead.

These are the stories of some of those men and women that fought back. These are the stories of some trying to find a “cure”. These are the stories of those that are just trying to survive the nightmare of the walking dead. These are the stories of those that caused The Dead War.

This book contains the first chapter of The Dead War Series which features the hero of the series, Sergeant Richards . It also contains three short stories that explain certain elements of The Dead War World.

Why did you write that?
I always wanted to write a military science fiction book. I chose to make the dead the antagonist as to avoid the usual bad guy stereotypes. Islamic terrorist, The Chinese, and the like.

Is there anything special you would like your potential readers to know?
I think those that love action and horror this is a great read. But beyond that the question of what would you the reader do in certain situations to survive. i want the reader to ask themselves that question and I know there are two situations where I hope the reader will stop and think about what they would have done.

Where is the one place you’ve traveled where you’ve felt most like you fit in?
Henderson, North Carolina. Nice and quiet.

What activity or hobby, besides writing, do you find most enjoyable?
I am into politics as an elected school board member which I find very fulfilling. I love football and basketball and have coached both and would love to get back to coaching one day.

What was your favorite childhood toy?
GI Joe with the kung fu grip.

What is your most valued personal possession in life? Who gave it to you?
My family. God.

If you lost the ability to see every color but one, which one would it be?
Blue.

How do you treat people you’re not fond of?
Professionally. If I don't need to deal with them I don't.

What is hiding in your closet as we speak?
I'm a wrestling fan.

What do you see as your greatest achievement?
Other than my family it would definitely be serving on my local board of education.

What, to you, is absolutely wrong?
That anyone in the United States go hungry.

What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
To always cut out the middle man whenever possible and deal with others personally.

If you had to explain the concept of “love” to someone who’s never heard of it before, how would you?
I would say that love is being willing to sacrifice everything for another without expecting anything in return.

What about “hate?”
Hate is the absence of love for others and for ones self

You’ve decided to buy an exotic pet, what do you go for?
A Grizzly Bear. It would come in real handy at board of education meetings.

What do you classify as an “Adventure?”
My time in the army and doing anything new for the first time. (that's not painful.)

If you could learn one new thing instantly, what would it be?
To sing.

Finish this sentence. “I sometimes find it hard to…”
Be patient. I have a very hard time waiting for things to come to fruition. Many times I find the process of getting things done excruciating.

Who is your most favorite literary character?
Conan, the barbarian not the talk show host.

Who is your favorite character of your own creation?
Sergeant Richards, the hero of The Dead War Series. He is a compilation of other characters I have written in older stories.

If you were ever to write an autobiography, what would its title be?
Stay Still.

What if it was a biography of your favorite person?
"You ain't cute. The answer is still no!" That would be to my daughter.

Name three things about that person that influenced or inspired you.
Her belief in the good in people.

She is truly color blind and treats everyone equally.

I want her to be proud of her daddy.


Our very special thanks to George for answering our questions. Check out his work today, because procrastination leads to sticky situations.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Tony Talbot - American Girl


It is our very special honor to have Tony Talbot and his book American Girl with us today.



Tony is around 14,235 days old, hailing from a village in the middle of the UK, in a county called Leicestershire.

When did you first start writing?
I first started it again in 2008. When I was thirteen or fourteen, I used to make up little personnel files on friends and share them around, but 2008 was when I got serious and rolled up my sleeves.

What was your very first story about?
Excluding the western I wrote when I was ten, it was a short story called FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL, a conspiracy tale about faked Apollo moon landings.

Have you written anything that you were too afraid to let anyone read?
Yes; but only in terms of because-it-sucked, not in terms of don't-get-mad.

Did you experience anything you’ve written yourself?
I write Young Adult (YA), so pretty much the basics we've all been through as teens: first love, stumbling over yourself when you meet a pretty girl, how hard it is to come out and say the thing you mean.

Who are several of your greatest literary inspirations?
From classics, I'd have to say Dickens; modern authors such as Dean Koontz and Stephen King. An Australian author named John Marsden (Tomorrow When the War Began series) - he taught me that you don't have to talk to your teen audience as though they were still five years old.

What kind of education have you received, and how has that affected your writing?
I'm educated to university level (a BSc) in computer science; there's actually a lot of Renaissance education involved, a lot of things you have to know that you wouldn't normally think of - is the person using your interface colour blind? When did the calendar change from Julian to Gregorian in the UK? I soak trivia up like a sponge, and I try to weave some of that into my stories. It taught me where to look for research and what to use as well.

How much research time customarily goes into your projects?
It depends. For my last book, AMERICAN GIRL, which is about Japanese-American internment in World War Two, I spent four months reading about it. For TAKEN, the book before, I spent about a month.

Tell us about your featured book.
AMERICAN GIRL is a the story of Mary Tanaka and her family, a normal family from The Pacific Northwest, who are caught up in Japanese-American internment; their whole life is pulled out from under them only because they look like the enemy.

Why did you write that?
My wife is from Washington State, where the majority of internees came from, and I wanted to write something about World War Two. I was thinking at first of the Holocaust, but everyone has done the Holocaust, and very few people, I think, know much about the Japanese experience in World War Two America. There are exceptions - SNOW FALLING ON CEDARS, for example, but they aren't really well known. The parallels between the American experience and the Jewish experience are chilling.

Is there anything special you would like your potential readers to know?
I hope that every time out with one of my books is going to take you on a different journey, take you somewhere you never expected and never anticipated. And no one in my books is safe from being killed off!

Where is the one place you’ve traveled where you’ve felt most like you fit in?
I love Washington State, where my wife is from. Such a place of contrasts, from incredible forests to scummy concrete strip malls and eight lane highways. There's no in between at all.

What activity or hobby, besides writing, do you find most enjoyable?
I love watching films and spending time with my wife. I pick up the odd computer game for a change sometimes. If anyone hasn't tried THIEF, they missed a treat.

What was your favorite childhood toy?
There was a spaceship called a StarBird. Loved it; came apart into five different pieces, each fun to play with just on their own.

What is your most valued personal possession in life? Who gave it to you?
I have a picture on my desk of my wife and me the day before we got married. I love that picture. I suppose the woman who took it gave it to me!

If you lost the ability to see every color but one, which one would it be?
I quite fancy green. I'd love to see green sunsets and green oceans, wouldn't that be something? Fireworks would be dull though.

How do you treat people you’re not fond of?
I do things for them more slowly, or not at all.

What is hiding in your closet as we speak?
The socks! The socks! They come out when I sleep and hide at the bottom of the bed.

What do you see as your greatest achievement?
Writing books and stories that people are willing to read, even though they never met me and don't know me.

What, to you, is absolutely wrong?
To fight someone for oil and dress it up with excuses. To hate someone because they don't have the same religious beliefs as you. Driving while on the phone. And littering.

What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
If you want to fight a man, walk a hundred miles away in his shoes. That way, he's a hundred miles away, and you've got his shoes. (Billy Connolly)

If you had to explain the concept of “love” to someone who’s never heard of it before, how would you?
The unconditional trust and respect of another, without doubt or hesitation. Saturday nights with a pizza and a movie you both love.

What about “hate?”
The meanness and pettiness of it all; how small we can be when we try to be giants over other people.

You’ve decided to buy an exotic pet, what do you go for?
Bengal tiger. Imagine how soft that fur is!

What do you classify as an “Adventure?”
A place I've never been before surprising me and delighting me as I walk there.

If you could learn one new thing instantly, what would it be?
I've always wanted to fly. Think of the time I'd save at the airport.

Finish this sentence. “I sometimes find it hard to…”
...talk to people.

Who is your most favorite literary character?
Sidney Carton from A TALE OF TWO CITIES. Such a waste at the start who makes the ultimate sacrifice for the woman he loves and can never have.

Who is your favorite character of your own creation?
Jenna Adams from OVER THE MOUNTAIN. She's so full of life and energy, I can't help but like her. If I were down in the story, I'd give her a hug and tell her to hang in there.

If you were ever to write an autobiography, what would its title be?
Potential Energy.

What if it was a biography of your favorite person?
Grace under Pressure. A biography of my wife.

Name three things about that person that influenced or inspired you.
Her graciousness, her unending kindness to strangers. Simply the nicest person I know.

To be or not to be?
To not be would involve not remembering to be, so it will have to be to be.


Our gracious thanks go out to Tony for sitting through our inquisition. Please check out his work, before someone figures out the true meaning of the Mayan calendar.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Mathieu Gallant - Outage

Please welcome our featured author Mathieu Gallant and his novel

Mathieu is 32 years old and currently lives in Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada.


When did you first start writing?

I’ve always enjoyed writing. In elementary I was a master at spelling tests. I think it’s because, from a young age, I enjoyed reading for pleasure. Then, later on, when most of my classmates struggled to get to the minimum word count in composition class, I’d give the teachers fits with multiples of it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always gold, but I understood I had an aptitude with words almost right away.


What was your very first story about?

Around thirteen years old I saw the movie “Die Hard” and it changed my life. I wanted to be like John McClane (but I was a “good boy” at heart, so I never went as far as to start smoking or get a handgun. The best I could manage was a wise-cracking, sarcastic a-hole routine. Then again, I was a teenager, so who knows if that was just my natural state?) Anyway, shortly thereafter I wrote a short story (I remember it totally filled a 32-page Hilroy notebook) modeled on Die Hard that took place in my school. It got me into some hot water when someone from the administration got their hands on it (can you say ‘meet the parents’?)It’s a good thing it was pre-Columbine or else I probably would’ve been expelled.


Have you written anything that you were too afraid to let anyone read?
Actually, no. But I’ve definitely been nervous about it. When I presented the first draft of my first completed novel, Outage, to my editor – a Governor-General Award winning poet who works as a professor at the local university – I was almost sick to my stomach. That led to a two-year collaboration that transformed my novel into what it is today. It never would have happened if I was too afraid to show it. The moral of the story is to never be afraid of having your work critiqued. It’s rare that someone will get it exactly right the first time and you need criticism to get better. Does that mean it’s fun to get bad reviews? No, of course not. But I’ll take constructive criticism over smoke up the arse any day.


Where is the one place you’ve traveled, where you’ve felt most like you fit in?

At the risk of sounding like a shut-in over here, I’ll admit that travelling isn’t really something I’ve done a lot of. It’s a mix of financial concerns (I don’t have a couple grand to blow on a trip) and the fact that my idea of an interesting destination doesn’t intersect with the usual places of interest (i.e. a sunny tropical paradise.) I’m a hearty French Canadian type. I’m most comfortable at sub-zero temperatures. I don’t deal well with the heat. I’ve always wanted to go to Iceland. But I think the very name of the place turns most people off. Not exactly bathing suit, lay on the beach material, you know?

What activity or hobby, besides writing, do you find most enjoyable?
I’ll be honest. I’m a vidiot. My name is Mathieu Gallant and I’m addicted to videogames. Whenever I get some spare time I’ll turn on the X-box and get some gaming time in. A few comments about this to people who have just rolled their eyes: 1) it sure beats just staring dumbly at the TV. At least I’m doing SOMETHING. 2) Within the game I’m master of the universe 3) If you pick the right game, $75 bucks will entertain you for less than a dollar an hour. Let’s see you do that at the local bar. Hell you can’t even go bowling for that price. I can go bowling any time I want (Wii Sports, baby!) My favourite game of all time is Fallout 3.


What was your favorite childhood toy?
I was big into biking as a child, so my favourite possession was my BMX. Oh the jumps we took! Then, about the time I hit puberty, I started to fear more for my personal safety. Since then I’ve kept my wheels on the ground. I’m far from X-games material, but put me on a road bike and I’ll go forever.


What is your most valued personal possession in life? Who gave it to you?
Right now it’s my 80 GB iPod Classic. I love music and every song I own is on that thing. I got it from a pawn shop for $50. I’m trendy on a budget.


If you lost the ability to see every color but one, which one would it be?
Green is my favourite colour.


How do you treat people you’re not fond of?
I still have a great deal of that sarcastic, smart-ass teenager in me. Believe me, it’s not pretty.


What is hiding in your closet as we speak?
I’m the owner of the world’s hardest shooting pellet gun. It’s something one of my uncles used to own that I found at my grandmother’s house. Every now and then I’ll haul it out and do some target shooting. But mostly it’s the backbone of my home defence system.


What do you see as your greatest achievement?
Without a doubt, finishing Outage is my greatest achievement so far. Even if it never gets published, I can say I wrote a book from start to finish. How many people can say that?


What, to you, is absolutely wrong?

Two words: JERSEY SHORE!


What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
Less is more. (That’s my editor explaining why it’s important to avoid over-telling the story)


If you had to explain the concept of “love” to someone who’s never heard of it before, how would you?
Not to be contrarian, but I don’t think it’s possible to explain the concept of love to someone. If they have the capacity for emotion they’ll get it naturally. If they don’t they won’t and no amount of explanations will suffice. I was discussing this the other day, actually. I think emotions are universal. I think even extra-terrestrials would feel love. What they’d call it is anybody’s guess... but a rose by any other name smells just as sweet, right? 


What about “hate?”
Everything in the universe has its counterpoint. Hate is the counterpoint of love. Everything I just discussed about love can just as easily apply to hate.


You’ve decided to buy an exotic pet, what do you go for?
If this is like a genie with 3 wishes thing, I’d love to have a huge aquarium with a Great White Shark. But I’ll settle for a snake if I’m paying the bill.


What do you classify as an “Adventure?”
Put on a good pair of boots. Load a backpack. Pick a direction. Go!


Who is your most favorite literary character?
Winston Smith from George Orwell’s 1984.


Who is your favorite character of your own creation?
I’m partial to the main character in Outage, Robert Hendricks. But I also enjoyed writing the role of his dealer, Malcolm.


If you could learn one new thing instantly, what would it be?
I want to be one of those guys who knows everything about cars.


Finish this sentence. “I sometimes find it hard to…”
Get up and go to my job when there’s so much more I’d rather be doing.


What kind of education have you received, and how has that affected your writing?
I have two college diplomas (electronics engineering and journalism). The latter has helped me establish that yes, I can actually write and the former means I’m comfortable with the latest technology (and it often shows up in my writing as well.)


If you were ever to write an autobiography, what would its title be?
Mathieu Gallant: Musings from a Sheltered Life.


What if it was a biography of your favorite person?
I’ll use this opportunity to give a shout out to my good friend Paul. If I was going to write a biography about him it would be entitled: The Bucket Stander: how I do crazy things without killing myself.

If you ever saw the guy paint a ceiling while standing on an overturned 25 gallon bucket on top of a rickety old chair while holding a full can of paint in one hand, you’d understand.


Name three things about that person that influenced or inspired you.
- He’s comfortable working at heights that make my hands sweat just thinking about

- He’s an inventor at heart and is always thinking about improving things

- On numerous occasions he’s pushed me to do things I never would have done otherwise (like jump from one rock outcropping to another over a 150 foot chasm over the churning waters of the Atlantic ocean, for one.)


Did you experience anything you’ve written yourself?

Near the beginning of Outage I write a scene about a drunkard who is reduced to chugging “Listerine” to get a buzz on. That was an actual early morning encounter I had when I worked as a driving instructor.




Who are several of your greatest literary inspirations?
Douglas Adams. Stephen King. Tom Clancy. 


How much research time customarily goes into your projects? 
As far as dedicated research, not that much. I have a full time job to worry about. I’d do more if writing was my actual job. But I’m constantly on the lookout for new and interesting ideas I can incorporate into my stories.


Tell us about your featured book.
Outage is 150,000 word novel of a genre I’d call peri-apocalyptic. It’s not post-apocalyptic because it doesn’t take place after the “end of the world,” but during. It’s also what I’d call a frame novel, a story within a story. The outer frame takes place around the year 2170 when the main character, Robert Hendricks, is returning to Earth after 153 years away. In that time he’s been a guest of the Gulran, the galaxy’s most advanced race. But his carefree time of roving from one star system to the next is coming to an end. The next mission has him returning to Earth, a place he’d nearly forgotten. It isn’t something that’s sitting well with him. So his best friend, High Arbitor Gorak (the mission commander) decides to help by hypnotizing Hendricks to learn more about the story that his friend doesn’t want tell (and is outright suppressing.) In Hendricks’ recollections, we move to the “core” of the book in the year 2026 and get a taste of the life he mostly avoids living in Saint John, New Brunswick before the excrement hits the air moving device. Due to some dirty dealing in the Oval Office, the lights go off across North America. They don’t come back on. Then we get to experience life unplugged as Hendricks discovers that the line between order and chaos is only as wide as a stream of electrons flowing in a copper wire.


Why did you write that?
I’ve always had a morbid fascination about the “end of the world.” I’ve spent a lot of time considering how it might happen. In my opinion, we’re deluding ourselves if we think it’ll be an act of God. We need to realize there’s no greater threat to human kind that humanity itself.


Is there anything special you would like your potential readers to know?
If you read Outage the whole way through, you’ll realize that it’s set up for a sequel. I’m working on that now and it’s tentatively entitled “Earthship Phoenix.”


To be or not to be?

Be. To quote one of my favourite musical acts – The Tragically Hip: “Twenty years for nothing, well that’s nothing new. And no one’s interested in something you didn’t do.”


A very special thanks to Mathieu for letting us pester him with incessant questions. Check out his novel today, because you might be stuck on a deserted island with nothing to read tomorrow.


Friday, January 27, 2012

Nathan Kross - The Supervillain Sonnets


Our first featured author is Nathan Kross with his book





Nathan is 25 years old and lives in Asheville, North Carolina. It is a pleasure to have him with us to share some insights into his work, his life, and his mind.



When did you first start writing?

I remember writing really bad stories in preschool. Oh my God they were bad.


What was your very first story about?

I once wrote a series of stories about a bumbling hero named Joe Schmoe, who kept trying to do various illegal things, and kept getting interrupted and persecuted by the same busload of nuns.


What activity or hobby, besides writing, do you find most enjoyable?

Kendo. Japanese swordfighting.


What was your favorite childhood toy?

I started playing video games around age 5 and never looked back.


Have you written anything that you were too afraid to try publishing?

Anyone who's sane about what publishing entails knows that virtually everything belongs in this category.


How much research time customarily goes into your projects?

Something I read mentioned that we're always writing. Even when we're not holding a pen, our stories and images are being formed in our subconscious the same way we dream. And even when that's not happening, our experiences every day shape who we are. So... infinity. That's my answer.


If you lost the ability to see every color but one, which one would it be?

Blue. Everything I saw would be blue. It would be wonderful.


How do you treat people you’re not fond of?

It ranges from active forgiveness and kindness to actively plotting revenge, depending on how much I think reconciliation is possible. Oh, don't laugh at me, you know you do it too.


What is hiding in your closet as we speak?

All of my ex-girlfriends' bodies.


If you were ever to write an autobiography, what would its title be?

Enemy


What if it was a biography of your favorite person?

Friend


Name three things about that person that influenced or inspired you.

I used to think that it was intellectually irresponsible to be kind, and good. I thought we all die in the end, and most things are absurd, and it's nothing but our genetic programming that makes us feel warmth for each other. The person who most influenced me, Aristotle, taught me that that was wrong by being disciplined, intelligent, and kind.


Did you experience anything you’ve written yourself?

I used to write strictly lyrical poetry about my spiritual experiences. Nowadays I like to just paint pictures of what I see in my mind's eye, you know, weave a web. Don't care so much about myself.


What do you see as your greatest achievement?

Surviving past a certain age. I tried to commit suicide a few times when I was younger. The fact that I'm still around impresses everyone who knows me.


What, to you, is absolutely wrong?

Most things, actually.


What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

"If you had even an ounce of faith, you could command this mountain, and it would pick itself up and hurl itself into the sea."


Who are several of your greatest literary inspirations?
Edgar Allan Poe tops the list. Nobody writes poetry like he does. Shakespeare is who I learned the sonnet form from, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning second to him. Chaucer is the one who taught me to write in heroic couplets. All of the philosophers I've read --- Aristotle, Kant, Plato, Aquinas --- taught me what it's important to write about.


You’ve decided to buy an exotic pet, what do you go for?

Definitely a large carnivore. A wolf, preferably. I don't want my life to be easy. I don't want survival to the next day to be guaranteed. I want to fight for everything I have.


What do you classify as “Adventure” ?

Going someplace and doing something that requires your whole attention, absorbs your whole self. Giving something your all.


Who is your most favorite literary character?

Javert from Les Misérables. Nobody's a badass like Javert's a badass.


Who is your favorite character of your own creation?

The Chimney Sweep, the superhero nemesis of Doktor Korvid.


If you could learn one new thing instantly, what would it be?

To stay focused on my breath. To breathe calmly and peacefully, the whole day through; to stay rooted in who I am.


Finish this sentence. “I sometimes find it hard to…”

...exist. Definitely.


Tell us about your featured book.

The Supervillain Sonnets is 50 sonnets and 10 matching historical documents describing the rise and fall of Doktor Korvid. Doktor Korvid was a supervillain. Doktor Korvid had a sensitive heart which happened to be filled with hate. But yours would be too if you had suffered as much as Doktor Korvid had. Well, actually, he just kind of decided that he hated everyone. That's where he and I differ. But that's OK.


Why did you write that?

I used to write nothing but poetry about myself. It was very dark, very depressing, and hardly ever good. Over the course of a few years I started to feel happy again, and I thought that meant I'd have to give up poetry, but then I realized that what I was doing wasn't poetry at all. It's not poetry until you write about something outside yourself. The Supervillain Sonnets is the result of my realizing that, and it's also partially about that.


Is there anything special you would like your potential readers to know?

A lot of people don't detect my sense of humor, 'cuz I'm pretty hard-edged, and I don't dangle it in front of your face. It's more often that I'm pulling the rug out from under you --- asking you to expect one thing and then delivering something completely opposite, just to see how you'll react. I don't even care if you laugh or not. Be prepared to laugh a lot when you read the Sonnets, and you will. Expect something serious, and you'll get something serious, but I'll be laughing (inside) at you.

Interested? Go check out Nathan's book right now, before old age robs you of your memories.